Sometimes I think a Straight Jacket will look good on me..

I have recently come to the conclusion that I have a problem. OK, I have a lot of problems, but this is one I have been unaware of .

I have a hard time enjoying myself, or having fun, when I feel unhappy with my looks. I know...this sounds so shallow, but its true, and I wish I could change it.

Because, do you realize that this means that I have only very sporadically been happy for the past...well, actually, 40 plus years?

Sad and pathetic, and I know psychologists everywhere will have a field day with me and this little tid bit of information, but this is not what this post is about.

It is actually about our  vacation to the beach.

 The Beach............(.add in horror movie music here)

Dreaded words for those of us with an on again, off again relationship with the scale.
And to be quite honest, it has been off again for a little too long  now.

I have tried to lose some weight before our vacation, ...enough at least not to feel like a natural disaster on the beach, but alas, I got side-tracked every time.

Eventually, with only a week to go before our vacation, I realized that even if I did not eat a thing until we leave, and exercised Biggest Loser style every day, it would not have a big enough impact to ensure me a happy, confident beach experience.

So I did the only thing any girl in my position could do....I shifted my obsession attention to my hair....

I went to see a new hairdresser in the rich, posh part of town, in the hopes that he could magically transform me into a beach goddess ......even if just from the neck up.

That proved to be no easy task, as his instructions were to trim only, and condition.. I am, after all, trying to grow my hair back out after a previous, similar event. (different destination, same motivation)

Needless to say, I was not satisfied. The image in the mirror did not resemble a beach goddess at all.

This was Wednesday.

Friday I went to a different hairdresser, whose instructions were to trim more in the back, and to color the sides a daring bright red,  "to accentuate the style".

Well, turns out we did not have the same vision. I was thinking beach goddess, and he, apparently was thinking McDonalds' Clown.

Out the window goes my theory that all gay hairdressers are good..

My husband, bless his heart, said I looked pretty. I think he just wanted the madness to stop.

Saturday:   Decided to commit the number one sin in all things hair....... I cut my own bangs.
(Number two is getting a home perm)

I am sure I don't have to tell you how that turned out. Now I not only had orange hair in the front and sides, I also had a weird little cheese puff on my forehead. There is a reason why people with curly hair don't wear short bangs.

Do you think this is bad? Wait! I have not even gotten to the actual part of this crazy story..

Fast forward to Thursday morning: The day of our departure. We planned to leave at noon, as soon as the boy got out of school. Hubby went to the chiropractor one last time to help his back survive the 20 hour drive. That left me alone at home for a couple hours...packed and ready.

NEVER a good situation for a crazy, hair obsessed person to find herself in.

I went to Walmart and got the funky hair color sets that Teens use to dye their hair blue, or purple, or pink.
I contemplated the blue or purple for a while, but to my credit, I chose the fire engine red. It was still just going on the bangs and sides, since the McDonalds red had already faded to dust rag orange.

Of course I did not follow, or read, for that matter, the instructions of how you should carefully protect your skin with Vaseline to avoid staining. Noooo. I just slathered that red stuff on, bare handed.
I did get some of it on my face...
    OK, OK, I got splatters all over my face. So bad that my 10 year old daughter came in and exclaimed, "Mom! It looks as if a vampire threw up on your face!"

To me it looked more like a really bad car accident. I wasn't worried, though. I have done this before. Just wipe it off with some soap and water, maybe rub a little,.... it usually comes right off.

Oh but not this time. Not this stuff. I wiped it with nail polish remover...still just as bright.
Bleach, toilet cleaner, even Goo-gone...nothing . And I`ll have you know that I have used Goo-gone to remove paint before. I still looked like someone who needed to go to the emergency room STAT.

Well, this should work to get the attention away from my thighs...

My hairdresser friend said to try shampoo, and to not worry, it would fade in a day or two. I was afraid that we might get stopped at a roadblock and Hubby might get arrested for beating his wife, so I took a cleaning sponge...the ones with the rough, hard,  green side...and I scrubbed that stuff off.

It worked. But only because I also scrubbed my skin off in the process . I now looked like someone who had been dragged face down on a carpet.

You think I'm lying? Here's proof... and these pictures were taken three days after.

I know, I need a nose job.... and I looked totally drugged. Must still be from all the chemical inhalation.

 I am done. Done doing stupid things with my outward appearance. It's what inside that counts, anyway, right?

Oh! Wait! I just remembered! My totally awesome super duper teeth whitening kit came in the mail yesterday! Maybe all is not lost...

Err....see ya!

Joining:

Funky Junk Enteriors

A Few Firsts, and an Upcoming Giveaway

Hi There, Peeps!

I have been missing in action, I know, but I have a very good excuse.

I can now say that I am not an Emergency Room Virgin anymore.

After living in the USA for 8 years, and never having to go to a doctor for anything but routine check ups, this past week I had a few firsts since living here:

 * Went to Urgent Care for the first time

 * Had  X rays taken for the first time

 *Went to urgent Care for the second time

 *Then, alas, had to go to the ER for the first time on Sunday Night, where I was diagnosed with Double Pneumonia, and

 * was admitted to Hospital the first time.

That experience in itself is worthy of a whole post on its own, if I have to tell you about my roommate...
I'll save that for when my sense of humor returns .

For now I will just share with you the touching exchange that took place when I had to tell my children I had pneumonia and may have to go to the hospital...

Son No 1:  "Does that mean I am going to get it, too?"

Me:  "You care so little, you would probably not even take me to the hospital if I needed to go and Dad    was working."

Son No 1:  "That's not true, of course I will take you..... I'll  just drive with all  the windows open."

The things your kids say when you don't have a gun...

Surely Son No 2 will show more concern...

Son No 2: "Is it contagious?"

And to think I was concerned they might worry..

My baby girl at least showed some concern, even if she was rejoicing inwardly knowing that it meant no school for her until I get back. (she is home schooled)

After two nights in Hospital, I am home again, and recovering . Unfortunately Wonderhusband had to be so inconsiderate  to go and get sick as well....MEN!.....

I thought I would spare you a picture of us at our puffy eyed best, and took a pic of our bedside tables instead...

                                                    His...



                                               Mine......            


 
We sure are a pitiful sight for sore eyes...

On a more positive note, I have a Giveaway coming this week, so keep your eyes peeled and tell your friends.   ;-)
                                                         Love,

                                                               

                                                                                              



Christmas Card Picture

Hi There

Do you know the part in The Bible where it talks about "weeping and gnashing of teeth" ?
If you want to know what that looks like, come to my house when it is time for the yearly Family Christmas Card Picture Taking....(cue in scary music here)
You would think I was asking each one of them to donate a kidney, or worse....
My 10 year old daughter still loves it, but she is sadly the only one.
Lets just say that on picture day, there is not very much "Christmas Spirit" in this household...

This year, I came up with a different plan., that I thought they would be more willing to do . I was "sort of " right. My oldest grudgingly agreed to participate, but made sure I understood that I was ruining his reputation...LOL.

I took three different pictures of them in poses to make up the letters : J O Y

Oldest put his foot down when it came to the "O", and refused to make up the other half with his brother, so I had to improvise...

I flipped the picture, put the two sides together, and blurred out the background to make an "O".

The "Y" was pretty straightforward.

Then I had to go and blur out all the backgrounds. If I ever get to do this again, I would make sure that the background and the floor are the same color.

After editing the pics in Photoshop Elements, I made a collage on Picasa 3,  and  Voila!

Can you see that it spells JOY?

I was afraid some people might not see it, so I used this template from Walmart's photo to make my Christmas Card...

I really enjoyed doing this. Wish I had more willing "subjects", but, never the less, I have my Christmas Card! Yeah!

Have a great weekend!

Suzanne  xx

Linking Up to These Parties:

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, ( PS: so does my Attitude....)

I have a confession to make. I might as well tell you now. Hope you won't judge me.....I am a Grinch.

There ...I said it. Didn't use to be one, just the past 8 years.

Christmas time is not a jolly time for me since we moved to the US. Everything that was Christmas to me in the past, I can't have here. In South Africa, this would be the end of the school year, and our long summer break. That meant vacation by the beach, and seeing our family.

Ok, don't worry, you can stop the sad violins now. I am adjusting. And I know Christmas is really about Jesus, I just want to explain why I have to work hard at being full of cheer.

Then there is the small problem of my lacking in decorating skills when it comes to Christmas. Don't ask me why...I wish I knew. I really don't like it. Especially the tree.Ribbons drive me crazy! I wish I has a dollar for every time I tried to decorate with a ribbon and had to do it over, and over, to try and get it right. This year I decided to give my daughter her own tree to decorate, and I just have my collection of little trees all over.

I do love Santa's, little trees that don't have to be decorated, and angels.

So, here are some of my attempts....

                                      Shower curtain turned table runner.

                           Another shower curtain used as a table cloth..

OK, I realize I sounded really negative there a minute ago, but I am really not..

Now that the decorating is done, I love the Chrismassy atmosphere. I love the candle light, Christmas music (some more that other, lol), making cookies and peppermint bark, hot chocolate, buying gifts for my loved ones, watching Christmas movies with my daughter, going for drives through the city to look at the lights,Christmas plays, and many more. (Did you guess from my title that I saw Junie B. Jones with my daughter this week?)

So, I really do wish you a very merry and blessed Christmas!

                                           

                                                 

PS: I know I have not blogged a lot lately, but I finally have something to blog about again, so see you soon!

                                 Joining these fun parties:

Love,

Modern Day Pilgrim

On Thanksgiving Day, eight years ago, we arrived in Seattle to make the USA our new home.

I will never forget the captain's words after we touched down . "Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and welcome home."
I just ,started to sob, because this was not my home.

My home was where my heart was, and my heart was back in South Africa. My Mother Country, where my family was still reeling from saying goodbye to us. Where I grew up, went to school, had my first crush, had my first kiss, met my husband, got married, had my three children....

This new country held no memories for me, no familiar, friendly faces, no nostalgia invoking smells and no favorite places and sights...yet.

It did , however hold a family whom my husband had only briefly met on a previous trip.They very graciously invited us to stay with them IN THEIR HOME for a whole month, while they showed us the ropes and helped us get the important things , like a bank account , a cell phone and a vehicle.

I will never forget your kindness, Brooke, and Dough, and you are one (or two) of the " things" I am thankfull for today.

I have since made my own memories here, took some awesome trips, seen some beautiful places, and made wonderful friends. I have cried many tears these past eight years, but I have also laughed a lot, loved a whole lot, trusted, believed, dared and most of all, grown as a person.

Although I will always miss South Africa, with its abundant wildlife,

beautiful beaches and mountains, its people with their hilarious sense of humor, and of course my friends and family,

I am beginning to see this, here, as my home.

The last eight years have not been easy, but it has been good, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be here, and to be a part of this country.

AND FOR THAT, I AM TRULY THANKFUL.

Love,
  Suzanne

Linking to these parties: